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Soyuzmultfilm
Creative association for Puppet-movies
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Devoted to the 140th anniversary of the birth
of Mikhail Saltykov-Shchedrin 1826 -1966
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HOW ONE MAN FED TWO GENERALS
after the tale by M. Saltykov-Shchedrin
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Album of Lithographs of St. Petersburg
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There once lived two generals.
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Throughout their lives
they served in desk-job positions.
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There they were born,
were brought up and grew old.
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As a consequence,
they were hopelessly stupid.
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They didn't even know any words
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other than "Please accept my assurances
with my respect and devotion!"
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[Bread / Poultry / Pickled Goods]
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But suddenly...
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By the magic pike's command,
By this storyteller's hand,
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these generals became stranded
upon a deserted island.
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"Such a strange dream, Your Excellency,
I seem to be dreaming now."
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said the fat general.
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"I see myself living on a deserted island."
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Having said that, the general suddenly
jumped up! And so did the other general.
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"Oh Lord, what is this? Where are we?"
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They both cried out in fear.
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But then... what should we do now?
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For example,
if I were to write an explanatory note,
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would there be any use in it?!
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That's it! Your Excellency,
you go to the east...
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and I shall go to the west.
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In the evening we will come back here again.
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Maybe we'll find something useful.
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After that, they tried to find out
which way east and west were.
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They turned this way and that...
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They pointed with their hands
in different directions,
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but made no headway at all.
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I'd say this, Your Excellency,
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you should go to the right
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and I shall go to the left.
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That'll be best!
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Oh, my stellate sturgeon!
My fishy-wishy!
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Oh sterlet-darling!
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It would be wonderful if we had these
fish on our Podyacheskaya street.
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My God, how much food!
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"How much food!" the general said
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and felt already sick from overeating
as he gazed tenderly at the birds.
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"Oh, God!"
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The general whispered, crossing himself.
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Pardon me!
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Well, how did it go, Your Excellency?
Found anything?
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I only found an old issue
of the Moscow News,
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but nothing more!
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I think I now even would be able
to eat my own boot.
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Gloves that have been worn
for a long time are also tasty.
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The power of the cross be with us!
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We're going to eat each other,
going on like this!!
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Your Excellency, we shall have to amuse
ourselves with some sort of conversation
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Otherwise, we'll kill each other!
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Alright, you begin.
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Yesterday, at the residence of the
venerable chief of our ancient capital
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...a grand dinner was held.
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The table was served for 100 people
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with amazing luxury.
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It was as if food from all over the world
had an appointment to meet each other...
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at these wonderful festivities.
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One could find the wonderful
golden sturgeon from Sheksna...
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and the pet of the Caucasian forests,
the pheasant!
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There were also wild strawberries, so rare
in our northern climates in February!
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Goddamn, Your Excellency! You really
couldn't find another conversation topic?!
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From our Tula correspondent:
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Yesterday, at the occasion of
catching sturgeon on the Upa river
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in the local club, a festival was held.
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The subject of the occasion was
brought in on a huge wooden platter.
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Ringed by cucumbers... and with
a selection of gravies most diverse,
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One could even say whimsical.
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Your Excellency, I never even thought
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that human food, in its original form,
could fly, swim or grow on trees.
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Yes, I even confess, that I thought
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that bread was born straight in the
form it is served at breakfast.
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Your Excellency, it would be good
if we could find a man!
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How do you mean, a man?
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Well, you know, just an ordinary man!
The common sort of man.
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He would be able to give us bread,
catch some grouse and some fish...
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Mm... a man... but where could
we find one here where there are none?
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Nonsense! Man is everywhere!
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We only need to search thoroughly! He's
probably hiding somewhere, shirking his duty!
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I told you, Your Excellency, that
there is no man on this island!
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It can't be!!
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- A man!
- Here he is, my dearest!
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Sleeping, you sluggard?!
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Don't you care that there are
two generals dying of hunger here?!
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You idler! Don't you care about the fact
that two generals are about to die?!
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- You have to feed us! So hurry up!
- March, march! To work!
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Move faster, you slacker!
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How wonderful it is to be generals!
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We shall not perish in any circumstance!
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The table is set, my esteemed generals!
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Are you satisfied, esteemed generals?
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We're satisfied, dear friend!
We have noticed your zeal.
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- Allow me a rest, then.
- Rest, rest, dear man.
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Oh torch, torch of mine...
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...made of birch
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Oh, torch, torch of mine...
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...made of birch...
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A day passed,
then another....
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our generals became cheerful,
satiated, well-fed and happy.
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Flow, you currents of Hippocrene...
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...from Mount Parnassus!
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A saber, vodka, a hussar's horse -
With you I spent my golden years.
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I'm born for the royal service,
for I love a bloody battle!
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Don't you wonder what's going on
in St. Peterburg's Podyacheskaya street,
Your Excellency?
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You need not even ask, Your Excellency!
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I miss it with my whole heart.
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Of course, life is very good here on the island...
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But you know it's embarrassing
when a man lives without his mistress.
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- Also, I am worried about our uniforms.
- I'm quite worried too!
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Even the needlework on them
is enough to make one's head spin!
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- Hey, man!
- What can I do for you?
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The generals began to compel the man
to bring them to Podyacheskaya street.
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To Podyacheskaya street?
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Well, it turned out that the man knew
about Podyacheskaya street.
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There he had lived, and had drunk mead -
it had wet his whiskers, but missed his tongue!
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Well... it would be possible
to sail to Podyacheskaya street.
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And the man built a sort of ship,
or vessel,
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in which it was quite possible to cross
the ocean to Podyacheskaya street.
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Just see, you rascal,
that you don't drown us!
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Don't you worry, esteemed generals,
this is not the first time for me!
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The man prepared everything for the departure.
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He crossed himself and set sail.
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Mother, holy mother of God, help us out!
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No! No! St. Nicholas, help us out!
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Oh! So often were the generals
filled with fear on this journey
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due to the storms and varied gales,
the thunder and the rain!...
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So often did they blame the man
for his parasitism!..
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This cannot be described with a pen
or told in a fairy tale.
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But finally the river Neva appeared
and the glorious Catherine canal too,
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And there they came finally to Podyacheskaya street.
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The generals did not forget the man!
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The sent him a glass of vodka
and five silver rubles as reward.
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Enjoy yourself, man!
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Screenplay by
Aleksey Simukov & Ivan Ivanov-Vano.
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Directed by
Ivan Ivanov Vano & Vladimir Danilevich
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Art-directors
Arcadiy Tyurin, Aleksandr Gorbachyov
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Camera - Iosif Golomb
Sound - Boris Filchikov
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Music - Anatoliy Aleksandrov
Narraotr - Dmitriy Zhuravlyov
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Animators - Lev Zhdanov, Aleksandr
Rozhkov, Galina Zolotovskaya,
Kirill Malyantovich, Yuriy Norshteyn
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Puppets & decor - A. Tyurin, T. Zuykova,
A. Gorbachyov, N. Budylova, G. Nevzorova
V. Alisov, Yu. Benkevich, F. Yarbusova, M. Spasskaya
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Montage - Nadezhda Treshchyova
Production director - Natan Bitman
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Subtitles by Zhurka75, Eus (2015),
& Niffiwan (2021)
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The End